Winter 2023: Letter from the Director
As you invite in this season of light in whatever form you celebrate, I’ve been with the question posed by a Tibetan Buddhist teacher, Choying Khandro, who visited our Center recently to share teachings and wisdom from her new book Dakini Journey in the Contemporary World. She asked each of us to contemplate how we could meet the intensity of the moment we’re living in, as the immense and benevolent presence that we truly are? And how could each one of us show up as ambassadors of this immense and benevolent presence in the world right now?
Wow. No need to be a Buddhist practitioner to catch her drift. For me, the question could be reframed (something we therapists do a lot!) as this: “How do we meet the intensity of the moment we’re all feeling with compassion, skill, and wisdom?”
We’re all keenly aware of suffering and war in the Middle East and elsewhere in the world, and perhaps we’re also aware of suffering closer to home — perhaps even in our own families, in our child, teen, or ourselves. We’ve likely had to have hard conversations with our children, teens, and young adults we hadn’t envisioned having.
And yet, here we are.
Closer to home, there’s no doubt from where I sit that a mental health crisis still rages in our country — with soaring rates of anxiety and depression in our kids, teens, and young adults. While there’s been some small pockets of good news with certain populations, overall the kids are not alright.
I was reminded of that recently by an article in the New York Times This Is Not the Way to Help Depressed Teenagers (Nov 18, 2023) by Dr. Darby Saxbe. Dr. Saxbe posited that while social-emotional tools and skills are powerfully important — and many of these tools and skills have been enlisted recently in service of our kids, teens and young adults by schools, colleges, and social media influencers — they aren’t always as effective as we hoped they would be. Why? It’s in part because kids, teens, and young adults need the gift of time and relationships to really master these skills.
Relationships matter. Consistency matters. “Hands-on” matters. So, as we look for skillful means and methods to meet the intensity of this moment, let’s not forget the power of connection and relationships that remind us that, as psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy says, each of us is “Good Inside.”
As a therapist working with children, teens, and adults, I’ve had the privilege of sitting with many young people and their parents and caregivers through the years. Sometimes I’ve worked with a child when they were young, and then again as a teen or young adult — when they decide, at a later developmental moment, that they want to see me again. I’m not unique among my therapist colleagues in providing episodic care, but for me that’s the beauty and power of a strong therapeutic relationship. It’s a trusting, non-judgmental alliance that matters a lot for growth and mastery. And the messaging is clear: You belong.
So, as we move through the intensity of the world together, know that here at The Center for Family Well-Being, we’ve got your back. Every therapist at our Center deeply knows, embodies, and values the power of relationship. Whether it’s individual or group therapy or parent guidance or coaching, we’re here for you: you, too, belong.
To my mind and heart, that’s how we answer the question of how to show up as the immense and benevolent presence that we all truly are. Let’s meet this moment. Let’s each of us light our lights and step forward, one light at a time.
Enjoy the season, and don’t forget the heart-opening power of play, music, movement, and service for you, your kids, teens, and young adults! We’re grateful for your trust in us.
Heart-to-heart, on behalf of all of us at the Center,
Kate