Fall 2022: Resources We Love
Back-to-School 2022
Many people say they can smell it: that particular turn from damp to crisp as the air changes and cooler, darker nights drift our way. We’ve blinked, and it’s fall. Like all transitions, this one comes equally with its delights and its challenges. We bid farewell to the ease of summer as we look begrudgingly to the humdrum of schedules and routines. And in the same breath, we say “see ya!” to the chaos of summer looseness, and look pleadingly to the safety of schedules and routines! It’s a mixed bag to be sure. We’re here to offer you some steadiness during hectic times. As always, included with our clinical and instructional resources are the things we’re consuming for pleasure, in the pockets of time that allow. Summer may be ending, but that doesn’t mean we eschew all leisure by any means– your “me time” is more valuable than ever amidst times of adjustment. Simply swap out the accompanying glass of lemonade for a cup of hot tea.
Amelia Aburn
Especially in times of transition, it can be essential to be extra intentional about setting and maintaining regular rituals that help us feel grounded. I absolutely love setting regular morning or evening routines using the Insight Timer app. It's free and has so many resources: guided meditations (of all kinds!), mindful movement, support for sleep, workshops, and talks ranging from a variety of topics related to managing stress and staying grounded. There are so many tools provided and can be especially helpful for learning about which different practices might feel supportive for navigating change and transition.
Aryn Davis
One gem that is always on my nightstand and on replay on Audible, is Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh. The practices offered are gentle reminders for how we can draw back into the sacred space inside of us, at any moment of the day.
I just finished Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart: Mapping meaningful Connection and the Language of the Human Experience, and I am finding it not only applicable to my practice and work with clients, but I have found it helpful in my personal life too, as it offers language for the inward life; because as Brown says, “Language is our portal to meaning-making, connection, healing, learning, and self-awareness.” I love that the book spotlights the human language, which is the language of emotions, which can be expressed in a multitude of ways that goes beyond words, when we become aware of what is happening within us.
The Therapy for Black Girls podcast by Dr. Joy Harden Bradford is always in rotation! And Kemi Nekvapil’s empowerment work has been feeding me professionally, and one of my favorite woman empowerment pieces of hers is her speech, Step Into Your Power & Live Without Apology offered through Insight Timer, which is a wellbeing tool that I use daily (and this tool is free, which is even better!).
Liz Hagerman
The start of the school year is a big transition! Recently Clare Lerner, of Lerner Child Development, included the topic of “back to school” in her newsletter. I highly recommend this article, as it is full of practical ideas and strategies. For the youngest children, just starting pre-school, or a new child care center, Dr. Deborah MacNamara, author of Rest Play Grow: Making Sense of Preschoolers offers a few suggestions:
Bridge the home to school divide by giving your child something to hold onto that represents your relationship (i.e., what you will do after school, a picture in their lunch box)
Matchmake your child to their teacher and the school by affirming that their teacher will take care of them
Make room for free play – especially after school which can help provide some emotional discharge
Amy Murphy
Throughout my life, pleasure reading has always provided me with an escape. It creates a shift in focus - from mundane, stressful tasks and responsibilities, to a glimpse into someone’s else’s experience. Lately, I have had some difficulty setting aside time to indulge in reading for pleasure. There seem to be so many “important” sources of information demanding my attention - both in print as well as audio and video - available everywhere and anytime. As summer began to wane, I decided to be more intentional about reading for pleasure. One author I have been happy to revisit is Elizabeth Strout. Having grown quite fond of Olive Kitteridge a number of years ago, I was happy to learn that Strout has been very busy creating another complex female character in Lucy Barton, who is at the center of of her latest novels. I have finished two of the “Amgash” trio of books, and was tickled to read that Strout has another Lucy Barton novel coming out this month. Turns out, I’m not the only reader excited about Elizabeth Strout - I enjoyed this profile today in The New York Times. I look forward to spending some quiet time in Lucy Barton’s world, as we shift into higher gear with the start of the Fall season...
Kate Kelly
I wish I’d had this book– It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture that Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine–years ago when my brother died. Reading it feels like a light in the darkness — heart-wrenching and opening while deeply validating at the same time. Megan Devine, a psychotherapist, knows first-hand the deep pain of loss because she’s lived it; her healthy and fit partner Matt drowned suddenly, randomly, and unexpectedly. His death tore her world apart; time stopped, and she entered unfathomable grief. She’d thought that with all her experience and training she would have been better prepared to deal with her loss, and yet she soon realized that nothing could have prepared her for it.
Devine walks us through just how broken the models of grief are in a culture where “grief is viewed as a malady: a terrifying, messy emotion that needs to be cleaned up and put behind us as soon as possible.” Our culture views happiness as the true mark of wellness, with grief viewed as an aberration; those who grieve, writes Devine, are “stuck in a so-called dark emotion.” And in this place, there’s no room for a broken heart that above all needs—from the rest of us—acknowledgment, witnessing, tending and support. Wise, compassionate, and courageous, Devine shares her own experience generously. She guides us away from trying to be saviors of those who are grieving and towards true companionship. With so much personal and collective grief we’ve experienced these last few years, this book feels timely and important.
Lisa Oakley
I recently read Linda Graham's book, Resilience: Powerful Practices for Bouncing Back from Disappointment, Difficulty, and Even Disaster. There is one little nugget from this book that I find particularly relevant as we shift into fall. As we say goodbye to the slower pace of summer, and more hectic schedules and routines take hold, we often feel our nervous systems revving up in anticipation of change, transition and more responsibility. This can often cue our anxiety. There are a few tricks and changes that can help shift our mindset, a classic technique from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) that can reframe our nervousness and help us feel more at ease and in control. It has been pointed out that both excitement and anxiety produce a very similar stress response in our body, even though we think of them as very different emotions. So if we feel this stress response, instead of interpreting it as anxiety and saying to ourselves, "oh no, this is too scary" or "I can't possibly do this" we can instead interpret our physical response as excitement: "wow! this is going to be a new challenge" or "what can I learn from this new experience." Here is a short article from the author's website that describes this shift: Anxiety v. Excitement – What’s the Diff? - Linda Graham. I also found this youtube video from Simon Sinek that describes this same technique: Nervous vs. Excited - YouTube. Hope everyone can feel excited for the start of a new school year and new challenges ahead : )
Veronica Suleiman
I am currently reading Oliver Sacks's memoir, On the Move: A Life. I am enjoying it because I am learning about the different sides to him. Even though he was a respected neurologist and writer, he had various other interests and passions, like riding his motorcycle, weight training, snorkeling, and traveling. I also appreciate how candid he is about his sexuality, his drug problem, and his 50+ years in psychoanalysis. When I finish reading this book, I think I am going to watch Awakenings, not the movie, but the documentary that was made about him in 1974.
Lida Sunderland
Ten years ago, Anne-Marie Slaughter penned the instantly infamous article, “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All” for The Atlantic. Curious about how it may resonate in the new work/life landscape that COVID has ushered in, I revisited the piece. For all its worthy criticisms (starting immediately with its title, and the faulty premise that the “all” she describes is either desired or possible for a person of any gender), Slaughter's article has incredible relevance today. She notably demanded that we turn to the innovative technologies that can support flexible hours and telework well before a virus necessitated our adjustment. Her words are worth considering if you’re struggling with how to mindfully return to the office (or not!) during this chapter of the pandemic.
And within her plea to make use of said innovation, she also made a compelling argument for the power of play. This made me think that as we close the door on summer fun and send kids back to school, it is important that we are intentional about making room for play. One practical way is to get to know how your kid uses recess; ask about it as if it were a class or academic period. Find out how your kid uses that time– what do they love, and what do they wish they had more of in that space. Also, protect this time: sometimes adjunctive services get scheduled during recess, or it can even be taken away as a disciplinary action; but research shows that this is deeply counterproductive. Play is how kids learn the life skills of communication, emotional regulation, problem solving, and so much more– they only need more, and never less. Check out The Power of Play by David Elkind (and Rest, Play Grow, as recommended above by Liz) for a deeper dive.